The Problem With Get Well Soon

The Problem With “Get Well Soon”

We want the people we love and care about to be healthy and well. It’s hard to witness anything bad happening to them and saddens us to see them suffer. It’s quite challenging to witness someone not living their full potential when you so clearly see what they are more capable of. When someone is sick or not living a life we want for them, there’s a natural tendency to wish them well, wish the best for them and as we often hear to, “Get well soon”.

The problem with that is we add pressure for them to get better. There’s a defense that goes up triggered by the idea that we did something wrong or are not good enough as we are. It’s a subtle put down that is certainly not intentional. I mean we always want to share good intentions, right? We say what we hope is from a place of love and compassion.

It’s Not Okay

Yet, in most of society, as least in North America, there is subconscious programming that feeds into a core belief that we are not good enough. And if we get sick, there’s this subconscious belief we failed in some way. The person with illness, starts into this “I can’t…” narrative and feeds into more limitations and restrictions. Then we hear, “get well soon” and we feel even more powerless and as if we let others down who want us different from how we currently are.

What if when someone we love and care about is having a period of illness, whether it be physical or mental, and we love and accept them anyway? What if we can share compassion and listen to what is going on with them and offer the support they need. Rather than just wishing they get better soon. Helping them feel loved is one way they can start to get better. To offer what might be missing in their life is another way to support someone.

In Shamanism, it’s common to ask those who come for healing, when did you stop dancing? Singing? Being in nature? Tuning into your own nature? When did you become uncomfortable with silence?

restorative power pose

Restoring Power

Sometimes we just say, “Get well soon” because we don’t know what else to do. We might be feeling powerless too, and want them to get better so we can also feel better.

In some societies the village, family, or community come together to support someone with meals and/or check ins. Sometimes there is a shaman or other healer who is called upon to support the person experiencing sickness.

Once you begin to engaging in restorative practices, your spirit is restored. Your spirit becomes free, your heart opens, and you renew your commitment to living your life in a way that is soul nurturing for you. Have you ever experienced that? Perhaps that’s what you loved one needs too to get well and feel better again.

Maybe you can encourage them to spend some time in nature. Allow them the opportunity to be,in sweet silence. Help them find their voice, maybe even their your primal sound so they can release. Singing can also be encouraged, and allowing they body freedom and expression in dance. Maybe we can simply honour where they are right now, as the perfect place to be. It may be exactly what’s needed on their path now to allow time for healing, restoration, revaluation, and reflection on their current life direction.

It may be an important time of refuge. Let’s not try to speed that up by telling them to “Get well soon.” Trust all is well and in divine order and balance is being restored.

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