I was brought through my spiritual transformation by the dissolution of my marriage. Of course this wasn’t the only transformational process I had been through. However it was one that created a spiritual crisis leading to an awakening, opening me up to a “new dream”.
How did I know I was in spiritual crisis? Well I felt depressed, exhausted, could not envision any kind of future, experienced some suicidal ideation, lacked direction and focus, and felt empty. I had lost a connection to the “bigger picture” and felt separated from any form of higher power.
Digging Deep to Uncover the Truth
I began to step back and notice what was really going on. I realized I was being manipulated, taken for granted and dispirited. Overcompensating, I made it appear that everything was just fine and in fact lost sight of the truth. Where had all my energy and vitality gone?
On some level though I knew there had to be something more. My growing self-awareness allowed me to see how resentful, angry and hostile I had become. Perhaps it was my Soul that kept my inner light alive. Motivating me to find purpose, passion and meaning for my existence in the world during that time.
Spiritual Transformation-A Lesson in Humility
As a counselor who supposedly knew how to cope with anything, it was humbling to feel so lost. So I began asking the Universe for signs and guidance to lead me into a higher place. To rise above these current circumstances. This awareness fueled me to do things differently. When I ended up on a stress leave from work, I realized the world did not crumble without me.
I quit my job despite thoughts and beliefs that I could not survive without the income or move beyond the shame of having to quit. I also ended the dysfunctional relationship and underwent a complete changeover in my life. This is what I call transformation- transcending form.
In other words, I dissolved all forms my life took, quit my job, left my beautiful house and garden, declared bankruptcy (even with a perfect credit rating prior to marriage) and sought solace with my dogs. I took refuge in a place an acquaintance offered me to stay in exchange for housesitting so she and her husband could pursue dreams they had been putting off.
The Universe Always Provides
It amazes me how the Universe always provides for our needs for the highest good of everyone involved. I also asked the universe to, “Show me where I needed to be doing what I needed to be doing”. Then I patiently waited with an open heart to be shown.
Also, I knew that I needed to be connected with a group of like-hearted people to provide a circle of support to help me sustain this new way of being. I found a new support network, one that honored me, and that gave me permission to take care of myself. I learned that in being humble, I allowed the love and support I craved from all my “doing”.
In this respite from the world, habits and daily living activities, I was able to get in touch with my creative power. From this void, I was able to co-create a new dream and vision for my life. A renewed sense of purpose emerged and I understood that through my process of healing and empowerment, I would help others to do the same.
Overcoming shame that came after everything I had committed to dissolved or was pulled out from under me was another great feat. What I later learned was that it was simply out of alignment with my soul’s path.
Life force energy began to flow through me and expand my energy field to attract what I needed as I honoured my life path unfolding before me. I stepped onto it with faith and confidence that I was being led to where I needed to be and find all I need along the way.
The Spiritual Journey
I have been on many spiritual quests and continue in my fascination with spiritual practices around the world, particularly with shamanic and indigenous cultures. I also feel closely connected to Buddhism, Vedic practices and Cosmic Intelligence.
Cycle of Death and Rebirth
By not honouring my needs, pushing myself too hard, saying yes out of fear, obligation or guilt, buying into feelings of unworthiness, and not following through on promises I made to myself, I ended up giving way too much of myself and felt depleted and drained of all energy. It was akin to a slow death.
This led to an examination into what I wanted from life, from myself and for myself. What did my heart desire? I decided to stop putting my dreams on the back burner and soar above my self-imposed limitations.
As I reclaimed my inner power, that warrior in me, I went through a rebirth where I honoured who I was, my capacity to love others, and to re-engage with self- care.
I felt the passion arise within me. I know you will too.
When you follow your bliss no sacrifices need to be made and you don’t end up depleted. This is what it means to live a Soul-led life. Here are some offerings that can support you through it. Remember to also check out the Inspired Living Blog or YouTube channel for more inspiration and strategies.